erikismybitch:

sistermaryfake:

cocaineteas:

Can’t take her anywhere.

WHEN SHE HIT HER HEAD ON THE WALLAWOIEAJLKREASEHORWAIJKDFL

I’m dead

pulmonary-poultry:

nabulos:

terror-billie:

ernmark:

I’m running a pre-bought campaign in a sci-fi setting

Totally not-shady NPC: I’ll need you to retrieve my secret cargo from the abandoned spaceship, but it’s very private, so don’t look inside–

Player: Is it a girl in a box?

NPC: …What?

Player: This is a sci-fi story, and there’s a box you don’t want us to look into. There’s only ever one way that ends, and it’s always with a girl stuffed into a box.

Other Player: Hey, we don’t even know how big it is. It could just be a cigar box.

First Player: Okay, you’re right. It could be a bunch of sex toys. How big is the box?

NPC: It’s… uh… six feet long by three feet wide by three feet deep…

First Player: Ugh. Okay, fine. Somebody pack a crowbar and a spare set of women’s clothing. We need to go get this girl out of her box.

uhhhhhhh…….

One day I’m going to run a sci-fi campaign of some kind and there will inevitably be a girl-sized box that the players are not allowed to open

And when they open it instead of a girl there will be 12 possums that immediately escape and create possum-related mischief until they can be put back in the box.

esmesqualor:

_{We’re under attack!}

mechacop:

Me to aesthetic bloggers

startrekvsfaceapp:

pure-leafs:

theshitneyspears:

2019 isn’t going to be any different unless you actually put effort in to change it

moosecannoncop:

sweetmeatdale:

moonaknight13:

A wife, husband, their child and their pet.

In that order?

This is the future liberals want

metroidmelodies:

A variation of the post from earlier. Which looks better?

Found here

kokkuri3:

wayneradiotv:

to any of you who keep making lame ass self deprecating jokes in 2019

doktorpeace:

lumnch:

lumnch:

lumnch:

My nips: *get really pokey out of nowhere*

Me: what is it girls? what do you see?

In honor of this post reaching 100,000 notes my nips are now banned from Tumblr

This is what they saw, all that time ago, like a cat before a storm

thenonbinaryspacegem:

insurrectionarycompassion:

internet-recluse:

meatthawsmoth:

She’s doing a great job

I mean getting the government running is a priority RN. I’m sure Dems will get to it in time

Like they got around to closing Gitmo right?

the bill wasnt to fund ICE by itself the bill was to FUND THE GOVERNMENT PERIOD. Like seriously voting no to stop funding the government specifically to stop ICE from being funded is 1. not actually going to deal with the problem of abolishing ICE and 2. Only will continue to harm those who are affected by the shutdown. Like those whos families need the welfare programs that the bill voted to fund??

 If we want to abolish ICE you dont do that by just saying ‘hi i vote to stop funding it’ once?? it takes LEGISLATION and WORK. Not just voting on one bill that isnt even focused on the issue at hand. 

this is such a bullshit outrage piece and yall keep falling for it. incredible. 

eclogues:

if we all marry and divorce jeff bezo we can singlehandedly distribute all of his wealth